There Is No Way...

I would not NEGLECT my blog. It's ironic that as soon as we get our internet back up and running December kicks in and i've just been so so busy.

It's been absolute chaos round here, what with our windows being changed (to double glazing, well overdue) and christmas coming up, there's always something I need to remember for dancing or to bring to pre-school...

The list goes on and on! But now dancing has finished until January and the school will be closing soon too. Plus i've actually started my christmas shopping, things are looking a little more organised, and I only hope you can forgive me for not updating as much as I should - believe me when I say it will get done...it's just gonna take a while.

Madness

My apologies for the late posts, we are having MAJOR trouble with our cable modem box and have only had internet access at certain points throughout the day and for limited periods!

It really has been a complete nightmare, and our cable TV has followed suit over the last couple of days. Daddy got so bored without TV that he started watching the children's DVDs. I've been going crazy having to faff with the cable modem every single day.

To say i'm 'fed up' with it all would be a huge understatement.

And the so-called Customer Support department have been no help. Having made a total of 7 calls to them, 3 of my calls were still unanswered after over 30 minutes of waiting on hold each time. It's so aggravating, but luckily a technician came today and replaced the cable box with a brand new one - well, it's working so far...

Daddy Does Dinner...Kinda

Ok, so this was supposed to be fish fingers, chips and peas.

Simple right? Apparently not.

Daddy oven baked the fish fingers fine, it was when he tried to use the microwave that things started going wrong.

First of all he tried to cook the peas in the microwave using a jug of water (just like I always do). He cooked them for 10 mins on medium high then removed them, presuming they were done. Then he remembered he had a bowl of chips left over from lunch, so he tried to reheat them in the microwave, but for too long, something went BANG - and the most horrible burnt metal smell engulfed my entire kitchen. You could smell it upstairs.

Slightly worried now I thought i'd better go check up on him, just in case he needs me. When I got downstairs I found the kitchen door closed.

So I opened it to find Daddy standing in the middle of my kitchen, both windows open wide, desperately trying to fan the smoke outside with a tea towel.

The microwave door was also open wide, and the horrible smell was coming from inside. Needless to say I asked him what happened!

So in the end, the peas were undercooked, still hard inside and the chips were ruined. So Daddy decided to play it safe with bread and butter and a nice salad instead...

Yummay!

♫ MRS Cellophane, Mrs Cellophane, Should've Been My Name... ♫

Ok, so these girls are really trying my patience this week.

The best way to describe it?

It's as if i'm INVISIBLE.

Everything I ask them, tell them, even the conversation I try to make as we walk down the street goes unnoticed.

And I just look like some crazy woman talking to myself because obviously neither of my children like me.

Although it's more J.R who has mastered the ability to ignore me.

E.M just keeps smiling and telling me NO.

I'm actually so stressed that i've had a migraine all day, and I don't get headaches. I'm one of those people who doesn't believe in taking painkillers for a measly little headache, but my god, today my head feels as if it's going to cave in on itself.

And I cannot ask anything normally - Oh no, I have to shout and scream just to get, and then keep their attention. I feel like the little kid. Even if I am face to face with J.R, down at her level, she will still turn her head away from me and not look at me at all. And when she does - she smiles a little smile and opens her eyes wide at me in the most annoying and sarcastic way ever....argh!

And she's started playing up at the school again, but at hometime.

It's not that she doesn't want to leave, more she doesn't want to leave with me. When the staff call her name she doesn't acknowledge it and when they tell her that Mummy's here, she goes into a fit of tears and refuses to come to the gate. In fact, this is the third day I have had to physically take her out of school myself since she will not go with me. And it makes me feel terrible.

I mean it looks bad as it is, in front of the other parents, when I approach her to carry her out she cowers and begs "No Mummy, no!" almost as if i'm going to hit her!!

I think it looks awful and I can't imagine how I must look to everyone else.

But i've told a HV of my trouble with J.R this week and how it's getting me down, and she's made me an appointment for a chat, see if we can find a way round this unruly behaviour.

In the meantime, i'm done ranting...sorry it was so long, and thanks for caring enough to read it!

Wow! Is it Sunday already?

I ain't gonna lie, it has been a tough one today, but for fear of sounding repetitive (Everyone's shouting at everyone else round here! Argh!!) i'm gonna go ahead and say it wasn't all bad news...

It's fast becoming tradition that when Daddy leaves for football Baby E.M plays up. BIGTIME.

That child really is the original little terror when her Daddy isn't around.

She runs from me, points her finger at me and tells me no, or just ignores me altogether! And she loves to wind her big sister up. So it's become mandatory that she takes some time out - on her own - in her room, every sunday afternoon. Mostly i've found that she gets her toys out for a bit but then goes for a nap during this time. Either way, I get some peace at last.

Meanwhile, J.R (following a stern talking to from both me and Daddy yesterday afternoon) has shown a vast improvement in her potty training today.

Whereas before she used to be uninterested and just generally too lazy. I was angry because it's a complete waste of money buying expensive Pull-Up pants for a child who can feel she is very wet, or even dirty but doesn't care!

She even got to the point of lying to us about being dirty when we asked her, just so that she didn't have to stop what she was doing and get cleaned up.

But as I said, today we've seen some really good improvement.

She's been wearing real knickers all day, is willing to tell me when she needs to go and has been for a wee on the toilet four times today, with only one accident. What a brilliant effort!

I hope you enjoyed the recipe posts this week, all for National Baking Week 2009, and maybe even tried your hand at a little baking yourself? If not, don't worry 'cos we resume normal posting again tomorrow - no more of this baking talk! (Well, not every day anyway.)

And last but not least - although this only applies if you live in the UK - I trust you turned your clocks back an hour today?

If not, I hope for your sake you didn't turn up for work an hour early this morning LOL

I'm one to talk though, I was NOT about to get up at 2am on a sunday to turn all our clocks back an hour...but then I came downstairs this morning and freaked out thinking i'd woken up at lunchtime!

My Stressful Sunday: Pt.2

It's almost 9pm, J.R has been asleep for a good few hours now, she stirs once in a while and complains but goes back to sleep, every so often I bring her up a drink and a dose of cough syrup.

She's in pain because of the Chickenpox, which has taken over her lips and chin, and physically tired because of the cough.

E.M is awake right now, but has been sleeping on and off most of the evening. Her cough keeps waking her up and she sometimes gets angry.

She wont be due another dose of cough syrup again for a good few hours, so I just keep her drinks topped up. Nice cold water and the occasional milk.

I can't remember the last time I ate, but i'm in pain with hunger. I've just made myself a Philadelphia and ham toastie, which is most likely the 2nd thing i've eaten all day. I'm so tired, both girls are ill, i've eaten next to nothing today...I just haven't had the time, trying to get one child settled but then the other wakes up crying, then settling that one until the other wakes up crying...but I should really eat, I can't afford to be ill. E.M is drifting off to sleep again.

Will see if I can get some nice, easy-to-cook microwave meals tomorrow morning.

My Stressful Sunday: Pt.1

It hasn't been an easy week this week, and today is no exception. So many things have gone wrong for me today, and i'm just so miffed i'm not even gonna begin to list them.

J.R has been on and off an emotional rollercoaster all week, (one minute she's stubborn and demanding and the next she's crying for my help) but maybe because she's ill? And my poor little E.M, having just fully recovered from Chickenpox has now picked up her sisters' cough. And she's losing her voice LOL. I know I shouldn't laugh, but she's so cute. Her voice is small and mousey as it is, but now that she's losing it, it's gone all squeaky and sometimes almost disappears altogether. She's just drifting off to sleep next to me as I write this, my poor little mite.

And it's all gone quiet here at number 64.

It's Gonna Be One Of Those Days

For some unknown reason, I woke up at 2am.

And the harder I tried to get back to sleep the more difficult it became - everything kept me awake. The ticking of the clock, the slam of the neighbours front gate, even the wind blowing through the trees! I was tossing and turning until almost 4am when I finally dozed off again.

To wake up, at 9.30am. Oh brilliant.

Mad rush for breakfast (fed the girls, but not myself as usual) and 60mph with the iron to get everyone's clothes done. Bundle everyone out the door by 9:50, which I think was pretty damn good for us...nope, hang on - it's raining.

Really raining.

Bundle everyone back into the house again and throw raincoats on. Back out the door and at the school by 10am. Hang J.R's bag and coat up on her peg, when the manager walks past taking some children to the bathroom, apologise for being late and tell her:

"It looks like it's gonna be one of those days..."

She could probably tell from my ever so slightly dishevelled appearance that I genuinely meant what I said. "Aw no worries hun." She said cheerfully and carried on her way. Take J.R into the hall when she suddenly decides to clamp onto my leg like a dead weight. She puts on her 'poor me' face and whinges and whines, trying desperately to squeeze a tear out. I quickly go through all the tactics, reasoning, bribery...and nothing seems to be working.

But then J.R comes out with, "I'm tired."

"You're tired!" I replied, "Then why don't you go and sit in the book corner with a nice cushion and rest?"

"Ok." she says and just like that, makes her way over. Just then I look up to see two members of staff had been watching J.R's little performance.

I smile and shrug my shoulders, "That sorted it!" I said out loud to them, quite proud of myself for a moment there.

Then I turn to walk off, slip and fall flat on my face.

Hmmm...

This is what happens when something bugs Miss J.R soooo much, she simply has to do something about it.

See that heap of sand there?

Underneath that is a small mound of moss.

And by small I mean just a bit bigger than a £2 coin.

The girls were happily messing about in the garden when J.R discovered the moss on the ground and the first thing she did was report it to me. But then when she realised that Mummy wasn't actually going to do anything about it, she decided to take matters into her own hands - and buried it under a tonne of sand. The sand table is now pretty empty.

Then not long after I took this photo, the girls proceeded to dig up the offending moss and smash it to pieces all over my patio.

And there's now a big muddy crater where the sand was.

Wonderful.

A Moment To Calm Down

Having kids really takes it out of you, both physically and mentally - and no I don't mean 'having' as in giving birth to them, I mean keeping them.

My neighbour said to me a while back, her daughter was such a pain in the ass at one point that "I didn't know whether to throw her out the window or throw myself out..."

And that's how i'm feeling right now.

I'm writing this in tears at the peak of a nine day stint of bedtime battles. If the girls aren't battling with me - they're battling with eachother. To the point where one girl gets tired and starts screaming at the other one to shut up, until it all becomes one big joke and they both resume their whinging and moaning for attention.

The whole thing can go on for hours and upsets both girls at some point as well as me, since it's either E.M standing at the end of her cot attention-crying for an hour or she's trying to sleep while J.R fidgets around, taking out toys, deliberately making noise to wake up her sister, or more recently calling out for me and lying.

Telling me she's hungry/dirty or she's hurt herself.

This usually leaves me in bed unable to sleep or just lacking any quality sleep in general, and then there's the early mornings.

With all the disruption and constant arguing, it's easy to lose hold of your emotions. I found myself shouting at Daddy tonight for this very reason. Through no fault of his own he is at the receiving end of all my anger and frustration. Had our relationship been weaker we would have fallen out bigtime. But since it's coming up four years strong, we're past that. We know a lack of sleep makes anyone cranky and as he clearly points out when our conflict is over, he doesn't snap back at me - he knows what i'm going through, and I always apologise.

Looks like it's just one of THOSE days...

I am not impressed.

• Not impressed with the permanent marks left on the dining room table by the 'washable' colouring pens.

• Or the broccoli that J.R has trodden into the carpet.

• Or the fact that Baby E.M has just bitten a chunk out of my Nivea Lipcare stick.

Standing at the kitchen sink I can see the neighbours children from the house opposite ours.

I'm watching in disbelief as they climb the garden walls and sit on their shed roof. They lay about doing nothing, and clamber all over the roof-top as if it were normal. Even perching on the edge of the roof to chat to their brothers and sisters from their bedroom windows.

And they've been doing this for as long as I can remember.

I can't believe how irresponsible those people are, letting their children treat the shed and walls as a climbing frame...

One day, one of those kids will fall and break something.

Then their mother will rush them into hospital and scream insults at the staff 'cos they're not moving fast enough, and her "poor little angel" is in pain.

I hate people like that.

Ok, i'm done.

Why!?

J.R's behaviour continues to come across as angry, it's frustrating to say the least!

She's even started growling(?) at her sister.

And to make my day even better, i've returned from the local shops to find that they've shut down the Paypoint where I pay most of my bills AND the only two ATM's in my area.

No internet service for exactly 7 days, again courtesy of Virgin media and a huge difference of £1.02.

If they owed me that money, i'd have to wait a whole month to get it back, and even then i'd get it as "credit". Cheeky b******s.

Typical. As soon as I get a day to myself it rains. A lot.

Ah, Bank Holidays...

Don't you just love an extra Sunday? Yes I know it's Monday, but it may as well be a Sunday with shops open limited hours, all the banks closed and some stores not even opening at all! It's insanely boring. That explains why us Brits spend bank holidays either having a bbq or starting some pointless DIY... can you tell I hate this?

"The Childcare Website" Rant

If you've ever been seller at a car-boot sale and had people literally all over your car and hounding you as you're trying to set up, you'll know how this feels...

Signed up with a childcare website which helps parents to find prospective childcare locally. You set up a profile for yourself, outlining your needs, the number of children you have and their ages and browse the profiles of babysitters in and around your area. Well that's the idea anyway...

How it really works is you set up a profile for yourself, stating all the necessary information (and in my case i'm looking for An Occasional Babysitter), then babysitters and nannies hound me asking when I want them to start and how many children I have.

Obviously haven't even read the profile!

And nannies? I'm not even looking for a nanny!!

But they're telling me they can start in a couple of weeks and how much they charge.

And I get about 3 of these messages every day - I joined in Feb and they're still coming! Leave me alone!

It's 9.55pm. Ruddy neighbours, i'm tired enough as it is without having to put up with some crappy club music at this time of the night. Which you can only hear the bassline of - which makes it even more annoying.

And just for the record, when i'm in bed at this time, it's because i've got things finished quickly and i'm trying to get a good quality sleep for once!!!

Living In The Dark Ages

Didn't get to post anything yesterday (thursday), no internet - courtesy of Virgin Media. I'm not happy.