Wednesday 4 November 2009

♫ MRS Cellophane, Mrs Cellophane, Should've Been My Name... ♫

Ok, so these girls are really trying my patience this week.
The best way to describe it?
It's as if i'm INVISIBLE.
Everything I ask them, tell them, even the conversation I try to make as we walk down the street goes unnoticed.
And I just look like some crazy woman talking to myself because obviously neither of my children like me.
Although it's more J.R who has mastered the ability to ignore me.
E.M just keeps smiling and telling me NO.
I'm actually so stressed that i've had a migraine all day, and I don't get headaches. I'm one of those people who doesn't believe in taking painkillers for a measly little headache, but my god, today my head feels as if it's going to cave in on itself.
And I cannot ask anything normally - Oh no, I have to shout and scream just to get, and then keep their attention. I feel like the little kid. Even if I am face to face with J.R, down at her level, she will still turn her head away from me and not look at me at all. And when she does - she smiles a little smile and opens her eyes wide at me in the most annoying and sarcastic way ever....argh!
And she's started playing up at the school again, but at hometime.
It's not that she doesn't want to leave, more she doesn't want to leave with me. When the staff call her name she doesn't acknowledge it and when they tell her that Mummy's here, she goes into a fit of tears and refuses to come to the gate. In fact, this is the third day I have had to physically take her out of school myself since she will not go with me. And it makes me feel terrible.
I mean it looks bad as it is, in front of the other parents, when I approach her to carry her out she cowers and begs "No Mummy, no!" almost as if i'm going to hit her!!
I think it looks awful and I can't imagine how I must look to everyone else.
But i've told a HV of my trouble with J.R this week and how it's getting me down, and she's made me an appointment for a chat, see if we can find a way round this unruly behaviour.
In the meantime, i'm done ranting...sorry it was so long, and thanks for caring enough to read it!

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